These past couple of days have been really interesting in terms of race, and I thought I'd take a moment to speak to my whitefolk readers. After posting the vomitously moronic Adrienne Curry post, a dear friend mentioned that she hates talking about race because she feels "I'm damned if I do and damned if I don't". And the only thing I can properly respond to that is "well, yeah, but do it anyway, okay?"
Another reader-friend of mine commented with this:
Ms. Stix, at what point do you think white people chiming in on this subject crosses the line from being supportive to pandering and suffering from white guilt? I always feel like I should just keep my mouth shut, although obviously not enough for me do it. Do you even want our support?
To which I replied:
Of course! I yearn for white participation because ultimately it's going to be the actions of white people that decide the future of race relations in this country.
I always encourage debate and questioning because I know as a white person the whole subject of race is very touchy and extremely volatile, but I also need you as a white person to understand the luxury in being able to choose whether or not to be involved in race discussion and that many POC experience everyday what you can make the decision not to.
People think of white privilege as a curse, but it doesn't have to be that way. Instead of fearing it, use it. When you see someone being willfully ignorant or racist, make the decision to educate them, or to level the playing field.
That's what these discussions are for. Not to yell at whitefolk (well, not just to yell at whitefolk, heh), but so that you all know what's going on inside and hopefully can find a spot to relate and make changes.
I know you've seen the brawls on my page (heh, again), but you have no idea how much I cherish the input.
One thing though is that being in control for so many years has caused an ingrained sense of entitlement in many white people in this country. So when they decide to start fighting racism a lot of times they:
a)try to dictate the terms and rules of the conversation (ADRIENNE CURRY SAYS THAT TO END RACISM WE SHOULD DO THIS!)
b)Become patronizing (OH POOR YOU! I WILL GIVE EVERY BLACK PERSON A JOB! (which, not the point. We don't want you to give every black person a job, we want you to not deny a job to someone because they are black, there's a difference)).
c)try to rank minority concerns (THE NATIVE AMERICANS HAVE IT SO MUCH WORSE!)
d)try to appropriate (YO YO HOMIE!! FREE RIGHTS FOR E'ERYONE! NAW MEAN?!?)
e)try to homogenize (I DO NOT SEE COLOR!! I DON'T!)
Basically, just be cool, know that not everyone is going to support and like you, but as long as your heart is in the right place you'll be pretty good.
Heh, and keep reading my blog, because this SURE won't be the last time you hear from me on the matter!
And I wanted to talk with you today and really elaborate on what I mean when I say the above. You know I love lists so here it is.
1) I don't hate YOU or think YOU are a bad person
I don't know you. Even if I e-know you, or we met offline or have talked on the phone, I still probably don't know you. In fact, this is mostly not about YOU at all, it is about the systematic abuse and neglect at the hands of an institution that was allowed to develop and conquer simply because of the color of their skin.
The part that is about YOU is the part that relates to how you treat POC in your daily lives. Are you engaging in conversations about race from a perspective of learning? Are you actively participating in the act of not being racist? Or are you turning your head and ignoring it, and pretending to be colorblind? I can't see you and therefore can't judge you, but I do know what I've encountered and experienced. It's your responsibility to figure out whether you were the cause of it.
2) You have white privilege whether you want it or not.
And yes, it frustrates the hell out of POC that ultimately the future of race relations rests in your hands. But what's more infuriating? When white people claim they don't have privilege, and won't use it to combat racism. God dangit people, you were born with the luxury of being white. Of caring about race only when you really want to. Of having the world on a silver platter in your hands and you want to get rid of that because it makes you feel guilty? Your ancestors messed up and-
WAIT! Stop right there. Because I know what you're going to do. Let's streamline:
2a) If you are American and/or in America and you speak with an American accent, and you also identify and look to be of the Caucasoid race. YOU ARE WHITE!
"b-but, I'm Italian!"
WHITE!
"Yo, my mama who raised me was black and my girl-"
WHITE!
"My parents just came to this country like 40 years ago and-"
WHITE!
"I'm the only white person in my city and they call me the Lone Crack-"
WHITE!
This is a country built on stereotypes people, deal with it. You are going to be unfairly grouped with people who look like you and accused of atrocities to which you nor your family may have been party.
WELCOME TO BEING BLACK! DEAL WITH IT!
And PLEASE deal with it.
Your ancestors messed up, and now you're living with the consequences, but the discrimination you may face sporadically for being white is nothing compared to the trash that is dumped daily on the average POC. Realize that, and then shape your experiences and actions to reflect that realization. That you have control and you can use it to make this place a better more color appreciative society. Which brings me to my next point:
3. You're not colorblind. I'm not colorblind. And we shouldn't be.
Here's a little mini rant I wrote about the subject:
And yes, I try to spit, piss on, and light fire to every instance of I AM COLORBLINDEZZZZZZ!!! I see. I swear that is the most asinine, insulting thing I've ever heard in life.
"Umm, you know those 400+ years of degradation, abuse, humiliation, and pain your people suffered from? And you know how you're making strides to overcome that and have built this country on your backs and contributed several inventions and advances to our home? Yeah, I'm going to claim the successes now, and we're just going to forget about the bad stuff, ‘kay? Now let's hug!"
BLECCH BLECCH BLECCH BLECCH!
I don't want you to discriminate against me because of the color of my skin, but you'd better darn well notice and realize how my actions and reactions are effected because of it.
There's a difference between being colorblind and color appreciative. To be colorblind is to tell someone you don't see their history, you don't see their culture, their spirit. To be colorblind is to tell someone that you have the control and ability to homogenize an entire group of people based on your comfort level. That you don't care what they feel about the matter, but this is how you think it should be and therefore how it is. To be colorblind is to bathe in the sweat of white privilege and insist that you are dry as a bone. It's denial and avoidance at it's most juvenile level and it's being touted as the way to end racism for adults?
While you're being colorblind, perhaps you could also stick your fingers in your ears and stomp your feet? Did you know that when you close your eyes the whole world disappears?! It does when you're colorblind!
But when you're color appreciative, it means you recognize my history, the beauty and also the pain of my people. You realize that even though you personally may have had no part it in, simply because of the color of your skin you benefit because of those who do and you make your decisions based on how to empower rather than disembowel.
That's not saying you should hire every POC, it's saying that you shouldn't discount someone immediately because of racial factors. It also means creating a scale that makes sense. If "Peter" who is white comes from an Ivy League school and applies for the same job as "Rob" who is black and went to a Community College but also has 5+ years of related service, don't automatically excuse Rob. You'll know by his resume and interview whether or not he had access to Ivy League funding or education and in the end he may be the most qualified.
4. Fighting racism doesn't make you comfortable.
It won't. It will be hard as hell, check out Shannon. Specifically check out her last few posts and read the comments. No, not the ones agreeing with her, but the ones blasting her for talking about her son who passed. Or the ones calling her an asshole. How about the one where the guy comes out to declare that he is 21 and white and will say the n-word if he wants to? Read some of the entries about how not a day goes by that someone doesn't tell her black husband that he must miss "not being near a chicken joint" since he moved up North.
Read the comments from my friend ![[info]](http://stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif)
happycapt whose daughter was called racist even when she was trying to be specifically not racist to help a fellow teammate. Read the comments to my friend croupier who was told she was just angry, and loud, and lacked substance.
Racism is not easy, and it didn't start just one day. It was a long arduous process and it will be even more so trying to remove the stigma and truly fighting it. You're going to get crapped on not only by the people you're fighting for, but also the people you're fighting against. You won't feel good about yourself, you'll question your motives, you'll see new parts of people you love that you never wished you had. You'll laugh, you'll cry, you'll hate waking up in the morning and you'll second guess every look that's thrown your way.
thegirliscrazy said this:
White people need to realize that racism is not an all-or-nothing issue, and hitting one nail on the head has nothing to do with the hundred thousand nails left to hammer in. Yelling "But I'm not racist!" means nothing to me. I'm not racist either, but I still have to deal with it; why do you get to be exempt? You don't have cancer or HIV or diabetes, does this mean that you are opposed to finding a cure for them? There is no one size fits all 'cure' for racism; it is a 12 (24? 36? 100?) step program and you have to go through ALL the steps in order to work through it. A lot of people don't want to put in the energy to work through it.
And I couldn't agree more. It's a process, and one that's not going to happen without participation and cooperation from BOTH sides. You're going to feel like you're between a rock and a hard place, but:
5. You should do it anyway.
It's the right thing to do, and the right thing is never easy.
Additionally, I know how whitefolk can be, so I've anticipated some questions (cut for your pleasure):
FAQ's
I understand what you're saying, but I still don't think the n-word should exist. It should be wiped from our history, and completely forgotten
Then by all means please do. Make sure that it is wiped from your conscious and your family's and friend's. Just don't tell me as a black person, that I'm responsible for your use of the word. Right now the only reason you want to say it is because we've told you not to and yet still say it ourselves.
At this point in history our usage of the n-word is completely unimpactful. The power of pain and disgrace associated with the word comes from white usage. There are several blacks who refuse to have it uttered around them by anyone, but not because black people using it hurts them, but because it invokes a reaction from when a white person said it to them and broke them to their core. It's not "our" word, it's yours and we took it and appropriated it as a way of healing and dealing with it as it were. You still have ownership and you still have the responsibility and power over it. Get rid of it first, and once the pain that comes with the word is filtered out, we may find it gets phased because it's no longer necessary.
Let's find out!
I understand that you don't think the concept of [Heritage] History Months or TV stations are inherently racist, but you have to admit they do foster segregation, right?
No, and the reason employs the "process" method from before. White networks (all the others, because we're being real here) are currently not representing minorities in a satisfying manner. So to get minorities on TV that are representative of actual minorities we start first with integrating our own stations.
Let's say that without minority based television the current networks account for 5% minorities (which is giving a lot of credit). Now within that 5%- 1% is Asian who are kung-fu artists or chefs or nerdy computer geeks. 2% are Latino and are cha chi mamas, chefs, sneaky hotel maids, or used for comedic effect because of their accent or inability to understand English. 2.5% are blacks who are maids, sassy mammies, drug dealers, gang members, sidekicks, sluts and whores, or Julia. The final .5% are random minorities, usually consisting of Indians or Native Americans who are used respectively to be laughed at, or to make us think or tell us that a station just went off-air.
So we include Univision, BET, LOGO (and even to an extent We and Lifetime), and other stations to give the perspective of minority America from a minority point of view. The networks start to pay attention and start writing more realistic and actual representations. We start getting bigger roles, maybe even headlining. But those advances don't start happening until we deliver a clear message of who we are. Unfortunately BET's programming has left much to be desired, but you can see the changes that it's original impact made on programming across the board, if only in the name of competition!
The channels are not restricting you from participating. My good friend Christo had this to say about what really annoyed him in Adrienne's rant:
I know we've discussed this whole thing ad nauseam but this is the crux of what I find sad about her blog entry. That she can't think of ANY way of "doing" Black History Month that doesn't exclude whites. That labeling it "Black History" automatically means she can't take an interest in what's going on or trying to find out what lessons can be learned, when clearly she's the sort of person who needs to learn most of all. That she's taking the use of the word "black" in there to deliberately not involve herself because OH MY GOD THAT'S SO DISGUSTING AND RACIST.
And that's the gist of why I think those channels/months are okay. They've never excluded, but they purposefully showcase what wasn't properly represented before. GLAAD just released their annual statement saying there weren't enough gays on tv. Are we a) going to disagree and b) going to call them heterophobic because of it? For being right and trying to do something to level the playing field?
Well I choose to do nothing, it doesn't mean that I'm adding to racism.
Inaction or apathy are some of the greatest opponents of progress. To do nothing willfully is to actively make a decision to not only not contribute to the fight against racism, but to validate similar inaction in those around you.
So like, what do I do? Sign up for my local NAACP chapter? Memorize and recite the Rites of Passage? What the hell do you want?
First of all, calm down! Secondly, you basically hit on what we wanted with your question. We want you to ASK! And then listen and process the answers. White people generally think they have the answer to everything which is why so many of them get painted with the white guilt/patronizing brush when they start campaigning for minority rights. Sit down and listen and learn before you come charging in with "ideas" and "plans" and "legislation".
Also, the easiest thing you can do to fight racism is to... wait for it... WAIT FOR IT!
NOT BE RACIST!
Well I do that anyway.
Do you? Have you really taken stock into how decisions effect others on this planet? Do you hang out with people who spout racist bile? Do you let it slide when one of your friends says the n-word? Have you stepped outside your circle at all or are all of your friends the same color/income bracket/age/sex as you? If not, then it's time to reexamine.
Why should I care? I don't even really care, you've told me I don't have to, why should I?
Because I care and you love me. And seriously, if you can't find a good reason to start, then use someone else's. Ultimately the end game of racism shouldn't be making you not feel guilty or feel better, but if that's the goal you're reaching for then by all means do some stretches first. Whatever it takes.
Umm, I'm all into semantics, right? So you seem to be factually mistaken about something in your post so I think I'm just going to discount the entire thing and do what I want, ‘kay?
Okay. Still makes you a jerk, but you're grown so do what you want.
I think you're taking this WAY too seriously. Everyone should just lighten up!
Yeah, not gonna happen anytime soon, at least on my blog. You'll be pleased to know though, that I've started several posts that I never finished because I was simply exhausted. And you're still a jerk.
Stop that. Stop being a jerk.
In conclusion, step out of your comfort zone, start questioning some norms, and get involved. And then pat yourself on the back for doing what you should have been doing all along.
Lord, let me press post and be done with this! I'm getting a headache. Until next time kiddies (or the first comment, which even hits the Yahoo! first)!
Love,
StickyKeys
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