32 posts tagged “public”

FLY ABOVE ALL THE DRAMA (AKA THE SINCE EVERYONE IS MAKING POSTS...POST)
AND THE MOD ELECTIONS ARE BEING HELD UP I'D FIGURE I'D GIVE MY $.02

I WAS IN NO WAY INVOLVED WITH THE SEKRIT COMM, AND MORE THAN LIKELY NEITHER WERE ANY OF THE OTHER APPLICANTS WHO I'M SURE HAVE ALL BEEN ACCUSED ALSO. I'D LIKE TO SAY THAT WHEN IT WERE OPEN THEY'D PROBABLY BE TALKING ABOUT ME, BUT I'M PROBABLY NOT ON THEIR RADAR.

THE PEOPLE ON THEIR RADAR? LOUD, OPINIONATED, SMART, BEAUTIFUL, SNARKY, AND UNFEARING. IF YOU WERE TALKED ABOUT IN THAT COMM IT'S BECAUSE YOU WERE ABLE TO DO SOMETHING THAT THE MEMBERS OF THAT COMM HATED AND THAT WAS TAKE THE ATTENTION OFF OF THEM FOR MORE THAN FIVE SECONDS.(

(EDIT: I JUST HEARD I MAY HAVE BEEN PROMOTED, BUT WHEN IT'S AT SOMEONE ELSE'S EXPENSE? NOT PROMOTION, JUST DEMOTION OF THE OTHER. I'M STILL NOT SURE ON THE DETAILS, BUT THAT'S THE INITIAL REACTION)

AND DON'T COME AT ME WITH "YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT" BECAUSE IN KNOW EXACTLY WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT. SOMEONE ASKED ME ABOUT MY EXPERIENCE AND I'M GOING TO TELL YOU IT.

SOME OF YOU KNOW TWOP, BUT DO SOME OF YOU KNOW ABOUT TWOP SUCKS (NOW BITTER BUT BRILLIANT)? I WAS A HUGE JACOB SUPPORTER AND WOULD KISS HIS BUTT ALL UP AND DOWN THE TWOP BOARDS. ONE DAY A FRIEND SENT ME A LINK TO TWOP SUCKS AND I SAW PEOPLE SAYING THE MOST HATEFUL AND HURTFUL THINGS ABOUT YOURS TRULY.

IT WAS BAD (REAL BAD MICHAEL JACKSON) AND THEN I GOT MAD (REAL MAD JOE JACKSON) AND THEN? I REALIZED THEY HAD NO IDEA WHO I WAS! THEIR OPINION OF ME WAS BASED ON A FEW STATEMENTS MADE ON A SITE THAT I BASICALLY LIVED AT, BUT IT WAS COMPLETELY ONE DIMENSIONAL. SO I JOINED, ANSWERED SOME QUESTIONS FROM THE HATERS, AND MADE SOME REALLY COOL FRIENDS THAT I STILL TALK TO THIS DAY.

DURING MY TIME THERE WE BEGAN TO QUESTION THE REGIME. THE VERY THINGS WE WERE HATING ON TWOPPERS FOR (OH YEAH, I JOINED IN AFTER A WHILE, SHUT UP, I WAS YOUNG! BESIDES, IT WAS MOSTLY TO HATE ON JACOB HATERS, HEH) WE WERE DOING OURSELVES. SO I GOT AN INVITE TO TWOP SUCKS SUCK AKA LYLE LOVETT'S NEEDS (INORITE). THERE, THE JACOB LOVERS HATED ON THE JACOB HATERS THAT HATED ON THE JACOB LOVERS (DON'T THINK IT CAN'T GET MORE META PEOPLE, CAUSE IT GOT EVEN MORE META BUT THAT COMES LATER) AND WE TALKED ABOUT GASBAG MEMBERS WHO WE DIDN'T LIKE.

LATER IN I'D CREATED A JACOB FAN FORUM (DID I MENTION I WAS CRAZY FOR A WHILE? AND YOUNG? AND MAY HAVE BEEN WELL INTO MY 20'S WHEN THIS HAPPENED?) AND A FEW SPLINTER MEMBERS FROM TSS/LLN WERE MEMBERS. WE HAD A HIDDEN FORUM WHERE WE JUST TALKED TRASH ABOUT THE ENTIRE SITUATION. IT'S ACTUALLY KIND OF FUNNY HOW SIMLAR ALL OF THIS IS, THERE WAS A SOUTHERN SASSY BELL, A GAY GUY, A MOMMY BLOGGER, A RESPLENDENT FOREIGNER, AND A DISGRUNTLED HOUSEWIFE!

WE MOSTLY JUST RAN AROUND BEING JERKS IN THE PRIVACY OF OUR OWN FORUM WHEN SOMEONE IN THE GROUP HAPPENED UPON SOME CACHED PAGES FROM THE MOD COMM OF TWOPSUCKS. THEY EXPOSED THE MEMBERS AS HAVING GHOSTNICS AND SOCKPUPPETS ON THEIR OWN BOARDS! THEY WOULD POST AS THEIR SOCK AGREERING WITH SOMEONE AND THEN COME IN AS A MOD BANISHING EVERYONE. INSANITY, RIGHT?

I DIDN'T THINK IT WAS FAIR TO HAVE THIS INFO AND NOT GIVE IT TO THE BOARD AND ONE OTHER GIRL AGREED WITH ME. WE WANTED TO RELEASE IT. THE REST OF THE GROUP (ABOUT 5 OTHERS) DIDN'T WANT TO AND THEY WERE VOCAL BUT NOT REALLY BEYOND "YOU GUYS WE SHOULDN'T DO THIS, THIS IS BAD!" WHAT TRANSPIRED NEXT IS WHAT I SEE HAPPENING HERE AND BASICALLY RATTLED MY WORLD.

INSTEAD OF CONTINUING TO TALK ABOUT IT, THE SPLINTER GROUP DECIDED TO START A GMAIL THREAD (TOLD YOU, MORE META!) WHERE THEY CALLED ME EVERYTHING BUT A CHILD OF GOD. DURING THIS TIME I HAD A LOT OF PROJECTS IN THE MIX AND THEY ANALYZED EVERY ACTION I TOOK AS SOMETHING TO OUT THEM AND DERAIL THEM AND SELL THEIR SECRETS TO THE KGB OR WHATEVER. ONE OF THEM EMAILED ME THE THREAD (AND THEN LATER ONE OF THEM ACCUSED ME OF HACKING INTO THEIR EMAIL ACCOUNT TO GET IT) AND WHEN CONFRONTED ONLY ONE GIRL DECIDED TO TAKE THE HEAT OF MY WRATH (Y'ALL, IT WAS ON MY BIRTHDAY Y'ALL!). SHE ASKED ME TO EXPLAIN MY ACTIONS AND I DID TO THE VERY DETAIL AND SHE BELIEVED ME. SHE ADMITTED SHE GOT CAUGHT UP IN THE CRAZY AND I FORGAVE HER AND WE'RE STILL E-COOL TO THIS DAY. SOME OF THEM APOLOGIZED AND WE'RE GRAVY, AND SOME I HAVEN'T TALKED TO SINCE.

DON'T THINK ALL OF THAT HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH THIS. HONESTLY, I GET WHAT IT'S LIKE TO HAVE PEOPLE TALKING ABOUT YOU, BUT YOU HAVE GOT TO GET A THICKER SKIN ON THE WEBS. WHO CARES? THEY DON'T KNOW YOU AND 9 TIMES OUT OF 10 THE THINGS THEY SAY HAVE NOTHIN TO DO WITH YOU! I HAD A GIRL SAY I CAUSED HER TO GET A REPRIMAND AT WORK BECAUSE SHE WAS TAKING TOO MUCH TIME WADING THROUGH MY BS! UMM... INTROSPECTION MUCH?

FLY ABOVE THE HATE! STRUT! SOME AWESOME LYRIC FROM A KRIS SONG! FRIDAY I'LL BE OVER YOU!

BUT WE NEED TO HUNKER DOWN AS A COMM AND DECIDE WHAT WE WANT TO BE AND HOW TO GET THERE. AND WE CAN'T DO THAT IF WE CAN'T GO THROUGH A SINGLE NIGHT OF PETTY DRAMA. BREATH BEFORE TAKING ACTION. LEARN TO LOOK AT AN ENTIRE SITUATION AND NOT JUST THE PART THAT EFFECTS YOU. LEARN HOW TO PUT YOUR PERSONAL FEELINGS AND FRIENDSHIPS ASIDE FOR THE GREATER GOOD WHEN NECESSARY. LEARN HOW TO BE HATED, HOW TO LOSE FRIENDSHIPS, HOW TO MAKE TOUGH DECISIONS AND HOW TO STICK BY THEM.

I'M GOING TO FLOCK THIS, SO PLEASE, OTHER APPLICANTS USE THIS AS YOUR WAY TO CLEAR YOUR NAME IF NECESSARY. MEMBERS, USE THIS AS A WAY TO VENT AND GET OUT WHAT YOU WANT. SAY WHATEVER, I DON'T CARE, BUT SAY IT AND THEN LEAVE IT SO WE CAN MOVE ON. NO, I'M NOT A MOD AND PROBABLY NEVER WILL BE AT THIS POINT, BUT I LOVE THIS COMM TOO MUCH TO SEE IT BURN DOWN. I'VE SEEN THAT BEFORE AND IT'S NUTS, BUT IT IS PREVENTABLE. LET'S PREVENT IT.

I LOVE YOU GUYS. NOW I'M GOING TO SHOWER!

She heard a bump, some rustling, maybe some munching, a stray giggle.  Nothing too strange, but definitely something odd and out of the ordinary.

Dear EVERYONE,

Ever, in the entire world. Yes you, and you, and Lord knows especially YOU! Please get the following statement into your heads and keep it there. Keep it right in front of your eyes as a constant reminder so I won't have to write a "Dear John" letter to the internets.

THE ONLY THING THAT BLACK PEOPLE (or People of Color, which is a term I made up evidently) ARE EVER GOING TO DO AS A WHOLE IS... (wait for it)... Here it comes.... ZOMGIZZLE UR GONNA BEE SOOOOZZZZEEE SUPRIZDED!!!!!...

BE BLACK!

Ta-Da! That's it! The only thing that we are required to do as a grouping in any way shape or form is BE BLACK! It's the only thing we're ever going to do as a consensus I kid you not.

You see EVERYONE, those annual "Black Folk Meetings" that y'all are so gung ho about? Oh you know, the ones where we elected Oprah as our Queen, Bill Cosby as our King, Rev Jesse Jackson as our Prince, and "Rev" Al Sharpton as the court jester? Yeah, didn't happen. It's a myth that was perpetrated by the additional myth that since we all have the same skin color, we also all have the same views on everything ever.

Now, now. I know where we misled you. This whole "Please stop discriminating against me based on my skin color!" thing? Kind of seems universal through the community, right? Like, the whole, "I would rather you not discount me because of my skin color. Especially if you're going to call me names or maybe arrest me or beat me or kill me because of it." thing really got y'all thinking, "Well, they seem to be really united under that front, they must have had a meeting about it sometime. Is that what the Million Man March was for? Honey, remember the Million Man march, did Jamall from next door go to that? Ask him if there was a meeting! There had to be a meeting."

Y'all? There wasn't. It's not kismet, or like, secret adapted twin language. It's just that -and I know this is going to freak you out, but still go with it- pretty much everyone in the world ever feels that way. I know, I know, but you see in addition to being "People of Color" (patent pending hoes!) we are also human. It's not just this years theme on Scrubs, it's an actual thing.

So as a whole, the only thing we as human beings who happen to be classified under a specific skin color have to do is... be that specific skin color until it doesn't matter in a negative way anymore. Seriously.

"So what does this mean for me?" you ask? Well, dearly beloved reader, what this means for you is that black people as a whole will never do any of the following:

1. Agree on the who/what/when/where/why/ and hows of THE N WORD
2. Vote Democrat/Republic or at all for that matter
3. Agree on a candidate
4. Figure out a replacement for reparations
5. Go to school
6. Be good citizens
7. Be violent and aggressive
8. Be passive and coddling
9. Forgive YOU
10. Trust YOU
11. Like YOU
12. Love YOU
13. Earn lots of money
14. Be poor
15. Use Affirmative Action
16. Believe in God
17. Care about racism
18. Care about other black people
19. Know other black people in your general area
20. Elect a "leader"
21. Like Jazz/Hip Hop/R&B exclusively
22. Love Denzel (I know, that's even hard for me to accept, but it's true)

Now I'm not completely unsympathetic. I realize that it seems like an oxymoron to have to adjust your behaviors for the betterment of an entire race of people who just can't seem to make our minds up about anything (silly us!), but really, the end of racism and discrimination isn't a give and take process.

I've been reading the reviews to my Dearest Whitefolk post by some people I had debate with and others who read but didn't comment until later. After wading through the general "SHE IS A CRAZY RACIST HERSELF SO THERE!" comments and the oddly interesting "I'm going to use this entire post to be snarky and overtly racist and then wonder why she wasn't more milquetoast and We Are the World about her rant against the very thing I'm doing right now and you know what, let's go get my ethnic husband involved because the best way to find out whether I'm racist or not is by asking the "POC" (c) that married me if I am" line of reasoning that was suspiciously common and in more than one review, I've noticed this new trend in racial processing reasoning.

...Sure, I'll agree to not be racist, but in return you have to do it my way. First, come to a freaking consensus on the word NIGGER. Yes, I said it. I am above the age of 21 and it's a silly word. If you can't figure it out why should I? Secondly, umm, we're giving you like, all free schooling? Take it and get a job. Also, I don't want any more of you people being mean to me. I'm working hard not to hate you as it is, cut me some effing slack. Once that's done, then I'll decide what I'll do to help fight racism, though by that time we'll all be equal right, so I won't have to do anything? Oh, I shouldn't have told you that part, right? That we're all just waiting for you to get over it? Yeah...

Yeah EVERYONE, not gonna happen. Least not while I still have ten fingers and enough skills to pump it out. Each and every single person needs to be dedicated to truly understanding racism. To understanding that seeming oxymorons are going to exist and sometimes the actions that we take to benefit others aren't going to be appreciated, recognized, or even wanted across the board and yet if you know you have the power to change things you should. People of Color, racial minorities, blackfolk, niggers, whatever, don't owe you any kind of explanation for why you shouldn't be racist holes. You don't get to have your racism excused because a black person was mean to you, especially when your racism affects several who were not.

And yes, this goes to white people especially. Those who still don't believe in white privilege or that anything they do has a reaction or better yet, thinks they are not being racist by not considering people of color because to consider them would be racist itself (oh the emails I've received...). It's not that hard to not be a racist jerk, seriously. And you're setting yourself up pretty well on the other side if you're actively trying not to be a racist jerk if you believe in that kind of thing. And if you don't, do you really want to be 85 in a rocking chair mumbling, "I'm NOT A RACIST!" under your breath? Then work to end it now so you won't have to. That's the end of it.

Love, Stix

ps.  I know at least one of the people mentioned in this post is going to burst at the seams about what I wrote, but I stand by it and I'm not afraid to defend it so if you want to "debate" about it some more, bring it on.  If not, that's cool too.  Won't make you any less of a racial discriminator, but it might make you feel better about yourself, and really, that's what this is all about, right?  Me making you feel good about yourself and nothing else.  Nope. not a bigger picture to be seen!

Next up: My Mom says the word "shit" a record number of times, but in the most literal sense of the word, and the existence of God is simultaneously proven and disproved during the process. Also, 7 (or 8? Was it 8?) wonderfully weird things about me.

And yes, just 8! You whores.

The response to the last post has been equal parts of wonderfully astounding, educationally frustrating, and absolutely beneficial.  I have learned so much and had really great discussions fueled by a passion which something of that nature demands.  The "you're a jerk!" responses are actually more meaningful to me than if I'd received no response at all or only flyby "tl;dr" responses.  

In fact, the only negative thing is that I'll have to followup that post with something equally as cool!  Ahh well, I post when I can, and the big posts happen when I have a bunch of little posts to reflect on, so here's a little post for you to enjoy.

My poor car (his name is Charlemagne) is almost three years old and has already had a rough life.  He's been ran into twice, ran into a guardrail once and seems to be an unintentional magnet for all kinds of vehicular drama.  I took it Charle in this morning to get serviced and when they were done one of the drivers came to pick me up so I could take my car home.  I saw a huge brand new black truck with rainbow lightning bolts on each side of the back window, and a pink triangle sticker near the top. The license plate said "STONWAL" and I wanted to follow them and find out where they lived and asked if I could sublet a room.

It was so artfully defiant, so obstinantly lovely in its own form of societal bouleversement. They didn't need a red ribbon magnet that said "Go Huskers" on it, just three tiny, nearly unnoticeable little decals and a license plate that screamed their message in code.

I wonder what their neighbors are like? I couldn't tell if they were men or women (tinted windows), but I wondered if they borrowed sugar and eggs or gave tomatoes from their late summer crops. If they were quiet at home and watched Designing Women for the snark and Perry Mason for the subtext. Did they go to rallies, or were they their own?

Did they own dogs? Did they treat the dogs like children or like dogs? For a couple with so much to say did they say it loudly? Or through the power of suggestable fashion and subversive inclusion? This couple that drove so bravely through the streets of Lincoln where they are abundantly in hiding, were they the Moses of the homosexual exodus out of the closets and into the open?

Probably not. They probably just thought it would be cool. But it's nice to think of what could be, right?

These past couple of days have been really interesting in terms of race, and I thought I'd take a moment to speak to my whitefolk readers. After posting the vomitously moronic Adrienne Curry post, a dear friend mentioned that she hates talking about race because she feels "I'm damned if I do and damned if I don't". And the only thing I can properly respond to that is "well, yeah, but do it anyway, okay?"

Another reader-friend of mine commented with this:

Ms. Stix, at what point do you think white people chiming in on this subject crosses the line from being supportive to pandering and suffering from white guilt? I always feel like I should just keep my mouth shut, although obviously not enough for me do it. Do you even want our support?

To which I replied:

Of course! I yearn for white participation because ultimately it's going to be the actions of white people that decide the future of race relations in this country.

I always encourage debate and questioning because I know as a white person the whole subject of race is very touchy and extremely volatile, but I also need you as a white person to understand the luxury in being able to choose whether or not to be involved in race discussion and that many POC experience everyday what you can make the decision not to.

People think of white privilege as a curse, but it doesn't have to be that way. Instead of fearing it, use it. When you see someone being willfully ignorant or racist, make the decision to educate them, or to level the playing field.

That's what these discussions are for. Not to yell at whitefolk (well, not just to yell at whitefolk, heh), but so that you all know what's going on inside and hopefully can find a spot to relate and make changes.

I know you've seen the brawls on my page (heh, again), but you have no idea how much I cherish the input.

One thing though is that being in control for so many years has caused an ingrained sense of entitlement in many white people in this country. So when they decide to start fighting racism a lot of times they:

a)try to dictate the terms and rules of the conversation (ADRIENNE CURRY SAYS THAT TO END RACISM WE SHOULD DO THIS!)

b)Become patronizing (OH POOR YOU! I WILL GIVE EVERY BLACK PERSON A JOB! (which, not the point. We don't want you to give every black person a job, we want you to not deny a job to someone because they are black, there's a difference)).

c)try to rank minority concerns (THE NATIVE AMERICANS HAVE IT SO MUCH WORSE!)

d)try to appropriate (YO YO HOMIE!! FREE RIGHTS FOR E'ERYONE! NAW MEAN?!?)

e)try to homogenize (I DO NOT SEE COLOR!! I DON'T!)

Basically, just be cool, know that not everyone is going to support and like you, but as long as your heart is in the right place you'll be pretty good.

Heh, and keep reading my blog, because this SURE won't be the last time you hear from me on the matter!

And I wanted to talk with you today and really elaborate on what I mean when I say the above. You know I love lists so here it is.

1) I don't hate YOU or think YOU are a bad person

I don't know you. Even if I e-know you, or we met offline or have talked on the phone, I still probably don't know you. In fact, this is mostly not about YOU at all, it is about the systematic abuse and neglect at the hands of an institution that was allowed to develop and conquer simply because of the color of their skin.

The part that is about YOU is the part that relates to how you treat POC in your daily lives. Are you engaging in conversations about race from a perspective of learning? Are you actively participating in the act of not being racist? Or are you turning your head and ignoring it, and pretending to be colorblind? I can't see you and therefore can't judge you, but I do know what I've encountered and experienced. It's your responsibility to figure out whether you were the cause of it.

2) You have white privilege whether you want it or not.

And yes, it frustrates the hell out of POC that ultimately the future of race relations rests in your hands. But what's more infuriating? When white people claim they don't have privilege, and won't use it to combat racism. God dangit people, you were born with the luxury of being white. Of caring about race only when you really want to. Of having the world on a silver platter in your hands and you want to get rid of that because it makes you feel guilty? Your ancestors messed up and-

WAIT! Stop right there. Because I know what you're going to do. Let's streamline:

2a) If you are American and/or in America and you speak with an American accent, and you also identify and look to be of the Caucasoid race. YOU ARE WHITE!

"b-but, I'm Italian!"

WHITE!

"Yo, my mama who raised me was black and my girl-"

WHITE!

"My parents just came to this country like 40 years ago and-"

WHITE!

"I'm the only white person in my city and they call me the Lone Crack-"

WHITE!

This is a country built on stereotypes people, deal with it. You are going to be unfairly grouped with people who look like you and accused of atrocities to which you nor your family may have been party.

WELCOME TO BEING BLACK! DEAL WITH IT!

And PLEASE deal with it.

Your ancestors messed up, and now you're living with the consequences, but the discrimination you may face sporadically for being white is nothing compared to the trash that is dumped daily on the average POC. Realize that, and then shape your experiences and actions to reflect that realization. That you have control and you can use it to make this place a better more color appreciative society. Which brings me to my next point:

3. You're not colorblind. I'm not colorblind. And we shouldn't be.

Here's a little mini rant I wrote about the subject:

And yes, I try to spit, piss on, and light fire to every instance of I AM COLORBLINDEZZZZZZ!!! I see. I swear that is the most asinine, insulting thing I've ever heard in life.

"Umm, you know those 400+ years of degradation, abuse, humiliation, and pain your people suffered from? And you know how you're making strides to overcome that and have built this country on your backs and contributed several inventions and advances to our home? Yeah, I'm going to claim the successes now, and we're just going to forget about the bad stuff, ‘kay? Now let's hug!"

BLECCH BLECCH BLECCH BLECCH!

I don't want you to discriminate against me because of the color of my skin, but you'd better darn well notice and realize how my actions and reactions are effected because of it.

There's a difference between being colorblind and color appreciative. To be colorblind is to tell someone you don't see their history, you don't see their culture, their spirit. To be colorblind is to tell someone that you have the control and ability to homogenize an entire group of people based on your comfort level. That you don't care what they feel about the matter, but this is how you think it should be and therefore how it is. To be colorblind is to bathe in the sweat of white privilege and insist that you are dry as a bone. It's denial and avoidance at it's most juvenile level and it's being touted as the way to end racism for adults?

While you're being colorblind, perhaps you could also stick your fingers in your ears and stomp your feet? Did you know that when you close your eyes the whole world disappears?! It does when you're colorblind!

But when you're color appreciative, it means you recognize my history, the beauty and also the pain of my people. You realize that even though you personally may have had no part it in, simply because of the color of your skin you benefit because of those who do and you make your decisions based on how to empower rather than disembowel.

That's not saying you should hire every POC, it's saying that you shouldn't discount someone immediately because of racial factors. It also means creating a scale that makes sense. If "Peter" who is white comes from an Ivy League school and applies for the same job as "Rob" who is black and went to a Community College but also has 5+ years of related service, don't automatically excuse Rob. You'll know by his resume and interview whether or not he had access to Ivy League funding or education and in the end he may be the most qualified.

4. Fighting racism doesn't make you comfortable.

It won't. It will be hard as hell, check out Shannon. Specifically check out her last few posts and read the comments. No, not the ones agreeing with her, but the ones blasting her for talking about her son who passed. Or the ones calling her an asshole. How about the one where the guy comes out to declare that he is 21 and white and will say the n-word if he wants to? Read some of the entries about how not a day goes by that someone doesn't tell her black husband that he must miss "not being near a chicken joint" since he moved up North.

Read the comments from my friend happycapt whose daughter was called racist even when she was trying to be specifically not racist to help a fellow teammate. Read the comments to my friend croupier who was told she was just angry, and loud, and lacked substance.

Racism is not easy, and it didn't start just one day. It was a long arduous process and it will be even more so trying to remove the stigma and truly fighting it. You're going to get crapped on not only by the people you're fighting for, but also the people you're fighting against. You won't feel good about yourself, you'll question your motives, you'll see new parts of people you love that you never wished you had. You'll laugh, you'll cry, you'll hate waking up in the morning and you'll second guess every look that's thrown your way.

thegirliscrazy said this:

White people need to realize that racism is not an all-or-nothing issue, and hitting one nail on the head has nothing to do with the hundred thousand nails left to hammer in. Yelling "But I'm not racist!" means nothing to me. I'm not racist either, but I still have to deal with it; why do you get to be exempt? You don't have cancer or HIV or diabetes, does this mean that you are opposed to finding a cure for them? There is no one size fits all 'cure' for racism; it is a 12 (24? 36? 100?) step program and you have to go through ALL the steps in order to work through it. A lot of people don't want to put in the energy to work through it.

And I couldn't agree more. It's a process, and one that's not going to happen without participation and cooperation from BOTH sides. You're going to feel like you're between a rock and a hard place, but:

5. You should do it anyway.

It's the right thing to do, and the right thing is never easy.

Additionally, I know how whitefolk can be, so I've anticipated some questions (cut for your pleasure):

FAQ's

I understand what you're saying, but I still don't think the n-word should exist. It should be wiped from our history, and completely forgotten

Then by all means please do. Make sure that it is wiped from your conscious and your family's and friend's. Just don't tell me as a black person, that I'm responsible for your use of the word. Right now the only reason you want to say it is because we've told you not to and yet still say it ourselves.

At this point in history our usage of the n-word is completely unimpactful. The power of pain and disgrace associated with the word comes from white usage. There are several blacks who refuse to have it uttered around them by anyone, but not because black people using it hurts them, but because it invokes a reaction from when a white person said it to them and broke them to their core. It's not "our" word, it's yours and we took it and appropriated it as a way of healing and dealing with it as it were. You still have ownership and you still have the responsibility and power over it. Get rid of it first, and once the pain that comes with the word is filtered out, we may find it gets phased because it's no longer necessary.

Let's find out!

I understand that you don't think the concept of [Heritage] History Months or TV stations are inherently racist, but you have to admit they do foster segregation, right?

No, and the reason employs the "process" method from before. White networks (all the others, because we're being real here) are currently not representing minorities in a satisfying manner. So to get minorities on TV that are representative of actual minorities we start first with integrating our own stations.

Let's say that without minority based television the current networks account for 5% minorities (which is giving a lot of credit). Now within that 5%- 1% is Asian who are kung-fu artists or chefs or nerdy computer geeks. 2% are Latino and are cha chi mamas, chefs, sneaky hotel maids, or used for comedic effect because of their accent or inability to understand English. 2.5% are blacks who are maids, sassy mammies, drug dealers, gang members, sidekicks, sluts and whores, or Julia. The final .5% are random minorities, usually consisting of Indians or Native Americans who are used respectively to be laughed at, or to make us think or tell us that a station just went off-air.

So we include Univision, BET, LOGO (and even to an extent We and Lifetime), and other stations to give the perspective of minority America from a minority point of view. The networks start to pay attention and start writing more realistic and actual representations. We start getting bigger roles, maybe even headlining. But those advances don't start happening until we deliver a clear message of who we are. Unfortunately BET's programming has left much to be desired, but you can see the changes that it's original impact made on programming across the board, if only in the name of competition!

The channels are not restricting you from participating. My good friend Christo had this to say about what really annoyed him in Adrienne's rant:

I know we've discussed this whole thing ad nauseam but this is the crux of what I find sad about her blog entry. That she can't think of ANY way of "doing" Black History Month that doesn't exclude whites. That labeling it "Black History" automatically means she can't take an interest in what's going on or trying to find out what lessons can be learned, when clearly she's the sort of person who needs to learn most of all. That she's taking the use of the word "black" in there to deliberately not involve herself because OH MY GOD THAT'S SO DISGUSTING AND RACIST.

And that's the gist of why I think those channels/months are okay. They've never excluded, but they purposefully showcase what wasn't properly represented before. GLAAD just released their annual statement saying there weren't enough gays on tv. Are we a) going to disagree and b) going to call them heterophobic because of it? For being right and trying to do something to level the playing field?

Well I choose to do nothing, it doesn't mean that I'm adding to racism.

Inaction or apathy are some of the greatest opponents of progress. To do nothing willfully is to actively make a decision to not only not contribute to the fight against racism, but to validate similar inaction in those around you.

So like, what do I do? Sign up for my local NAACP chapter? Memorize and recite the Rites of Passage? What the hell do you want?

First of all, calm down! Secondly, you basically hit on what we wanted with your question. We want you to ASK! And then listen and process the answers. White people generally think they have the answer to everything which is why so many of them get painted with the white guilt/patronizing brush when they start campaigning for minority rights. Sit down and listen and learn before you come charging in with "ideas" and "plans" and "legislation".

Also, the easiest thing you can do to fight racism is to... wait for it... WAIT FOR IT!

NOT BE RACIST!

Well I do that anyway.

Do you? Have you really taken stock into how decisions effect others on this planet? Do you hang out with people who spout racist bile? Do you let it slide when one of your friends says the n-word? Have you stepped outside your circle at all or are all of your friends the same color/income bracket/age/sex as you? If not, then it's time to reexamine.

Why should I care? I don't even really care, you've told me I don't have to, why should I?

Because I care and you love me. And seriously, if you can't find a good reason to start, then use someone else's. Ultimately the end game of racism shouldn't be making you not feel guilty or feel better, but if that's the goal you're reaching for then by all means do some stretches first. Whatever it takes.

Umm, I'm all into semantics, right? So you seem to be factually mistaken about something in your post so I think I'm just going to discount the entire thing and do what I want, ‘kay?

Okay. Still makes you a jerk, but you're grown so do what you want.

I think you're taking this WAY too seriously. Everyone should just lighten up!

Yeah, not gonna happen anytime soon, at least on my blog. You'll be pleased to know though, that I've started several posts that I never finished because I was simply exhausted. And you're still a jerk.

Stop that. Stop being a jerk.

In conclusion, step out of your comfort zone, start questioning some norms, and get involved. And then pat yourself on the back for doing what you should have been doing all along.

Lord, let me press post and be done with this! I'm getting a headache. Until next time kiddies (or the first comment, which even hits the Yahoo! first)!

Love,

StickyKeys

Video has been taken down, but he did apologize.

There's been some discussion over whether he was actually saying "faggot" or perhaps something else, and whether Jerry is a full fledged homo-hater or a man who is simply a product of his time (which there is such a thing, regardless of how trashy it is). Rob has a post investigating the spectograms (that's probably incorrect) of certain words and whatever it was Jerry Lewis said. Personally I think he was actually saying "Illiterate fag-eh- no" since we're being technical about it.

Or rather, if we also want to be realistic, he was saying "fag". However, I think through the circumstances surrounding the event you can also tell one of many things:

1) This was the attempted incorporation of a joke he didn't invent, but one he'd obviously heard-

2) a really long time ago. Not in the sense that the time frame made having inappropriate materal acceptable, but in that he'd had it rattling around in his brain long enough to not quite remember the middle, but know he had to get to the killer ending before the senility set in.

3) In fact it's safe to say he completely forgot the meat of the middle and just started throwing stuff in. You can see the mental gears turning,

"And here's your.. 'was it cousin Jimmy? He was the little brother I thought. Uncle Joe? Ah who cares, fake it till you get to the punchline, it'll kill them- did I just say 'fag'? oh-' -no."

It was then that you realized,

4) It wasn't Dean (DEAN!) who'd told him that joke, but instead Dean's insanely racist and Xenophobic (France is merde!) cousin from rural Virginia that they pay in beer to keep hidden.

5) The reason Jerry forgot this was.. well pretty self explanatory. Dean's cousin was a jerk, and you know how much the French love Jerry Lewis.

All in all I think it was a silly joke that just went horribly wrong. I don't know about the ramifications. If he'd said, "And here's the little nigger shoe shine boy" you'd best believe I'd probably have Jerry on a spit. Or I may just have sympathy on this old man (who evidently? Still alive! Who knew?) who was trying to raise money for unfortunate children and bring smiles to the faces of the world.

I'm guessing he'll be wanting one pretty soon.

Whoopi!

So Whoopi joins The View and decides to make a little splash. Only thing is, it was pretty tame. Suddenly WHOOPI SUPPORTS MICHAEL VICK!!! MICHAEL WAS CHARGED BECAUSE HE'S WHITE!!! WHOOPI TURNS THE VIEW INTO RACE DEN!! SHE'S ALREADY OUT OF CONTROL!!! WHOOPI SAYS BLACK PEOPLE LIKE KILLING DOGS!!

Seriously y'all, chill. Now I haven't said anything about the Michael Vick situation because a) I don't care that much about a1)Michael Vick, a2)dogs, a3)this country's justice system being fair or not, a4)idiots, and a5)Michael Vick being an idiot and fighting with dogs and this country's justice system. I care not one bit, but suddenly it became very important that Whoopi cared and what she had to say about it when honestly it wasn't very much.

The gist of what she said is that in the deep south dog fighting is a lot more common than you'd think. Dogs are not nearly as much for pets as for sport or work there. In many families there is no such thing as a dog being part of the family. A dog is a dog. She said that you could kind of see the light come on when Michael realized this was a very serious issue and not just something he could shrug off.

Now we know the dog fighting in and of itself didn't get him in too much trouble, or as much trouble as the illegal gambling did, but it will forever place a negative stigma on his image. Dog fighting is terrible if only for the inhumanity of it. I mean really? Is all of that necessary? Swinging dogs from chains clamped around their jaws to make them tougher, starving them, making them brutal. Many of these dogs are raised to be so vicious that when emancipated from this life of fighting they have to be put down because they become a danger to society. It just seems so ridiculous until you're a young brother looking to make some cash. Those fights pull MAJOR bank and if I were a person of lesser scruples or income you can believe I'd have Tinkerbell in the next match.

Anyhow, no where through this was Whoopi excusing Vick's actions or even standing up for him. She simply noted that it was an example of a low level culture shock. CNN and MSNBC made it look like she was wearing an airbrushed t-shirt with his likeness on it.

So in conclusion, Jerry's old and should put an era limit on his jokes, and Whoopi thinks that cultural differences are interesting. I'm off to my second job and can't think of a way to end this cleverly so I'll just leave you with this:

Cleverly.

No, your other one.

I was reading an entry by redcoast and she mentioned that supposedly the oval face shape is the most desirable. I tend to disagree. I've always been attracted to the square face shape. Strong bold jawline leading up to high luscious cheekbones. And if they're spotted with a pouty mouth in the middle it's all the better for me.

The next type I like is the heart shape which is basically half a square shape in execution, right? Actually I've noticed that many of the heart shapes I like are just head on versions of square jaws that I covet, hmm...

I've put some examples below. This was going to be all philosophical but I ran out of time so it's basically just a pic spam of people I think are hot.

Enjoy!

	Cyd Charrisse First saw her in Singing in the Rain and fell in love. She had a cute little flapper bob and legs that never end. Her cheekbones are fantastic and her chin comes to a fabulous little point. So regal and fine.
	Scott Foley I like my white boys with wide jaws and pouty lips. The anti Christo? He's beautiful.
	Meagan Goode I think she's gorgeous and these next two pics are the examples of a heart shape with her head down and then a square one with her head up.
	Meagan Goode 2 Cutie patootie.
	Regina King Classic heart shaped face.
	Sophie Okenadu (sp?) I just think she's gorgeous and love that heart shaped face.
	Adrian Pasdar Seems a little hearty from the side but he's got full on square jaw and it is darn near epic. His jaw could cut diamond and is lovely.
	Angela Bassett Kind of square jaw with a point? I'm not sure, I just think she's gorgeous.
	Angela Bassett 2 And again.
	Angelina Jolie Love her, I don't care what you say, and she's got the classic square with the point chin thing going on. She's frabulous.
	Regina King. Let's say heart shaped. I think she's absolutely beautiful.
	Mark Paull Gosselaar Zach Morris was always the shiz, with his big ole square jaw.
	Emma Grigsby Same square face with the pointy chin. She's on Hollyoaks and I think she's so adorable and beautiful but she's in love with John Paul who is so obviously gay.
	Emma Grigsby 2 The only reason we know he's gay is because he is actively trying NOT to hit that. Look at her, she's precious!
	Scott Foley 2 Pretty pouty boy.
	Gene Kelly Most of his attraction lies in his thighs of passion, but the man was a looker. Not quite square face, almost heart shaped. Gotta love a dimpled chin.
	Angelina Jolie 2 Again.
	Tyson Beckford Got dang dog.
	Tyson Beckford 2 Got dang.

Also, Gwyn's No Tramp for Tarantino's Porno

Don't encourage her Quentin. Don't fall for his crap Gwyn. Sigh...

Just testing some stuff to see if Vox is really where it's at.  In the meantime, enjoy some chocolate rain...

"Chocolate Rain"

Chocolate Rain
Some stay dry and others feel the pain
Chocolate Rain
A baby born will die before the sin

Chocolate Rain
The school books say it can't be here again
Chocolate Rain
The prisons make you wonder where it went

Chocolate Rain
Build a tent and say the world is dry
Chocolate Rain
Zoom the camera out and see the lie

Chocolate Rain
Forecast to be falling yesterday
Chocolate Rain
Only in the past is what they say

Chocolate Rain
Raised your neighborhood insurance rates
Chocolate Rain
Makes us happy 'livin in a gate

Chocolate Rain
Made me cross the street the other day
Chocolate Rain
Made you turn your head the other way

(Chorus)
Chocolate Rain
History quickly crashing through your veins
Chocolate Rain
Using you to fall back down again
[Repeat]

Chocolate Rain
Seldom mentioned on the radio
Chocolate Rain
Its the fear your leaders call control

Chocolate Rain
Worse than swearing worse than calling names
Chocolate Rain
Say it publicly and you're insane

Chocolate Rain
No one wants to hear about it now
Chocolate Rain
Wish real hard it goes away somehow

Chocolate Rain
Makes the best of friends begin to fight
Chocolate Rain
But did they know each other in the light?

Chocolate Rain
Every February washed away
Chocolate Rain
Stays behind as colors celebrate

Chocolate Rain
The same crime has a higher price to pay
chocolate Rain
The judge and jury swear it's not the face

(Chorus)

Chocolate Rain
Dirty secrets of economy
Chocolate Rain
Turns that body into GDP

Chocolate Rain
The bell curve blames the baby's DNA
Chocolate Rain
But test scores are how much the parents make

Chocolate Rain
'Flippin cars in France the other night
Chocolate Rain
Cleans the sewers out beneath Mumbai

Chocolate Rain
'Cross the world and back its all the same
Chocolate Rain
Angels cry and shake their heads in shame

Chocolate Rain
Lifts the ark of paradise in sin
Chocolate Rain
Which part do you think you're 'livin in?

Chocolate Rain
More than 'marchin more than passing law
Chocolate Rain
Remake how we got to where we are.

(Chorus)